Phat Girlz: The Story of my Life

I know I’m totally behind the times but I’ve only just watched the film Phat Girlz and it is the story of my life.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0490196/

Everyone who reads this blog knows that I am overweight. My husband is a handsome, muscular, slender, business owner. He is gorgeous in every way possible. And he’s with me. In fact he married me at my heaviest weight. He loves me. But I have a constant battle with him at accepting his love and accepting myself.

To all those nasty people who think fat people who are ‘happy’ are in denial:

Do you really think that fat people should be unhappy for the rest of their lives?

When do you think would be a good time for a fat person to actually start to live and have fun? After they are thin? Do you realise what a paradox this is?

Fat acceptance is a necessary part of losing weight. No one can successfully lose weight feeling miserable all the time. That doesn’t mean that we aren’t working hard to be healthy. At my heaviest weight I was running 3 miles a day and at weekends 6 miles. If a thin person saw me right after my 6 mile run on top of a low calorie diet and told me I was in denial, because I was too ‘cheerful’ and ‘proud’ how do you think that would make me feel?

Is there any point in saying ‘I am dieting’, ‘I have run 6 miles today’??

Some overweight women are happy, so what. It’s not a crime to be happy. If someone had cancer and they were cheerful, would you go around saying they were in denial? Or would you think they were being very brave and optimist about the future, facing their problems head on?

Being positive helps me exercise and follow my diet. If I was negative about myself then I would go back to the way I was before – which is eating and sitting down.

I still spend much of my time indoors. Yea. I don’t yet feel comfortable being ‘out’. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, I don’t feel comfortable in the clothes that I wear. If I did I’d probably be out running every day, since I had to get rid of my treadmill for space reasons I haven’t been able to run. And I do miss it.

I used to wait until the early hours of the morning to do my run, so it was still dark and no one saw me. The problem with that is that I missed my runs if it was too cold or I got up late. Being ashamed stops me from doing the things I would really like to do. Which is why I love this film. It has everything about me. It’s my story. Each day I become more active, each day I get a little braver and each day I feel a little better and even look a little better.

I don’t think that fat people should be ashamed of the way they look, I do think that they should feel happy, and denial has nothing to do with day-to-day feelings. We have to survive each day, all of us do.

Live and let live, as they say…